


Dark Before Dawn

by MapleBreeze



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Magic Reveal, Secret Relationship, Slow Dancing, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:41:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22448101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MapleBreeze/pseuds/MapleBreeze
Summary: During a winter feast, Merlin still longs for a brighter future. But, for the present, all he has is stolen moments with Arthur.Written for The Merlin/Arthur Kiss Fest 2019 - Winter
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 158
Collections: The Merlin/Arthur Kiss Fest 2019





	Dark Before Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place before Arthur is king and Uther is still in power
> 
> Enjoy!

Merlin thought it would be the end of the world, Arthur finding out about his magic. But it hadn’t. Years and years of waiting and wondering had finally culminated in happiness.

It had happened during battle. There was no other way of saving Arthur. He barely chose to; it was almost instinctive. Merlin was panicked and filled with fear, preparing himself for the worst. But the worst was nothing like he expected. At first, Arthur just stood and stared, with nothing to say, until he yelled. But his ranting came out like Merlin had simply forgotten to polish his sword or washed the wrong clothes, not of a man who would kill him. Arthur simmered down and they talked it out. It was a long day in the forest.

Arthur was still shocked to say the least, but he came around. Despite being raised on his father’s views toward magic, he understood and accepted it. Well, way more than that. Merlin walked down the hall, remembering how, months later in the same woods, they explained their shared feelings and shared a kiss, friendship blossoming into more.

To say it was nice would be an understatement. Merlin felt the happiest he ever was in the past few months. His feelings were returned, and he finally had another who knew the truth of him, _Arthur._ After so long hiding, it still felt strange to think that, Merlin thought, placing the last few dishes on tables at the sides of the hall in preparation for the feast.

Guests entered shortly after. Merlin stayed by the sides of the room, unnoticeable to the nobles, except when they wanted a drink of course. He poured another goblet and sighed, looking out the window. The used pyre stood proud in the now vacant courtyard. It was a grim reminder of what could’ve been, had things not worked out so well with Arthur. It unsettled him. The murdering of innocents was once more a cause for joy in the castle. One would think that, after years he would have gotten used to occasions like this, but perhaps it was good to not be so desensitized to such cruelty.

Merlin was in a daze considering this, before being brought back to reality by a demanding nobleman. He apologized quickly and offered the man a refill. Merlin shifted around on his feet, wondering how long the tedious evening would continue.

Arthur entered the hall. Many eyes turned to the prince, eager to earn his favor. However, he only had eyes for one of them. He looked at Merlin who winked in return. Arthur let a small grin show through. _Perhaps this feast would not be completely awful after all._

Merlin walked over to Arthur. “Would you like a cup of mead, my lord?” He asked, already pouring some. Arthur seemed amused by his unusual use of titles and snatched the chalice out of his hands. He drank it quickly and shooed the manservant away, but not before returning his earlier wink.

Merlin smiled to himself as he made his way back to his spot along the wall. Here, him and Arthur had to keep up appearances, nothing more than prince and servant, but he couldn’t help taking the opportunity to mess with him.

He watched from the sidelines. It was amusing to see Arthur put up such a façade every time. He shook hands with lords and ladies and shared laughs with the knights. He seemed completely in his element. He was trained for this since birth after all, but Merlin knew that he was just as bored as he himself was.

Gwen joined him by the drinks table shortly, mentioning similar things about Morgana. They laughed and laughed, once again content to be together in their world of servitude, separate from those dressed lavishly only a few feet from them. Maybe when Arthur is king something would change that.

Merlin continued to watch the admittedly sometimes entertaining interactions of all these haughty nobles, while barely keeping his eyes off Arthur. And he noticed how much the prince in question glanced at him. Gwen stood by Merlin side, watching eyes flit across the room. She pretended not to notice, but she’d be a fool not to. Despite all the ladies vying for Arthur’s attention, she could see he only cared about Merlin’s. She secretly wished that maybe someday soon, her and the Lady Morgana would be in a similar situation.

Then, a spoon rang upon a glass, Uther stood at the front of the hall. “Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m pleased you all could come. This evening, as I’m sure most of you saw,” he said with a gesture out the window to the smoking pyre. “we were victorious again in the fight against magic.” There were cheers and claps. Merlin rolled his eyes. This was no big victory, simply another peasant trying to make life easier for himself, caught in Uther’s grasp. Merlin made his best attempt to block it out as the speech continued and he gave a toast.

“To our noble quest,” he began, holding his goblet high in the air. “We have made much progress but there is still more to be done.” He paused. “To the death of all sorcerers!” Uther drank heavily. Merlin could make out Arthur’s trembling hands lifting his cup. He offered a sorry glance at Merlin before taking a small sip.

The rest of the feast didn’t prove itself to be much better. Merlin just waited and busied himself by cleaning up the messes drunk nobles had made. But that wasn’t so bad, not compared to seeing the nobles themselves interact. A nobleman was allowed to offer his hand to a lady for a dance, or a noblewoman allowed to thank him for a lovely time with a kiss, all out in the openness of the feast. There was no sneaking or hiding, like him and Arthur always had to.

Merlin had never wanted the time of Arthur’s reign to come more than this moment. Before, it had always come with the weight of telling him the truth. With no Uther, he would have less of a reason to hide. But now, he knew that, through Arthur, because of himself, the future of magic users was in good hands. And, they could be together freely. Merlin almost wanted to kill Uther on the spot for this limitless future to come true.

Merlin sighed. He would just have to wait till the time came. Fortunately, now he had Arthur, and they would wait for that future together.

\-------------------------

The feast stretched into the night and Arthur found himself yawning. After the toast, the rest of the evening was a blur. It was all the same to him: meet another noble, exchange pleasantries, move on, repeat. The only thing that kept him interested was Merlin. At every chance he watched the servant. It felt like the only real thing in this make-believe world of pretense. All this that had once felt so real to him was now nothing more than a distraction for more important things, namely Merlin.

He watched as the man in question served another round of drinks to a group of knights, one of which offered his thanks in the form of spilling his drink. He once would’ve felt indifferent to such a sight but now, the strict class rules seemed even more cruel, especially now knowing the power Merlin had. Such a wonderful man such as him should not be stuck here.

He distracted himself by making another round around the room. Drunken lords careened across the hall in some sort of attempt at dance. Merry laughter drifted from groups of lords and nobles.

Arthur saw Merlin slumped lazily near the windows. Oh, how he longed to do the same, to wipe off his mask of princely duty forever. But he would not. Under the watchful eyes of his father, he wouldn’t dare try anything. Plus, he now had a duty, to Merlin and the kingdom, to keep his place as heir and take the throne one day. All this monotony would be worth it. _For Merlin_.

He deserved so much more than this, forced to serve, always having to hide and lie. He deserved more than Arthur himself, who had caused him so much pain over the years. But he remained loyal and Arthur was endlessly grateful for that.

People were still dancing around the hall, swirling skirts gliding across the floor to cheerful music. He wondered what it would be like to dance here with Merlin. To hold his hands gingerly as they paraded around the room. To hold their bodies close, without fear publicly, like a current couple was clearly doing. To bring them even closer in such a joyous activity.

Plus, he was certain Merlin was as inept at dancing as he was at walking. Even if it wouldn’t be as graceful as the couples here were, it would surely be hilarious.

Merlin tapped his foot restlessly as he stood over by the window and kept turning back toward it. Arthur wondered what he was looking for, but he was stuck conversing with a local lord and his daughter, who seemed just as excited as he was about her father’s suggestion of their betrothal, which is to say not at all. The situation seemed so typical to him and he felt sorry for the poor girl. He glanced back at Merlin, but he had disappeared. He searched the room with his eyes, still feigning interest in the conversation. Ah, there he was. Merlin was heading out a door on the opposite end of the hall, maybe now was their chance. He waited, albeit impatiently for the lord to stop speaking before tactfully excusing himself.

More called after him as he strode across the room, smiling once more, passing a group of dull councilmembers, only half hearing them as he walked away. Drunken ladies begged him for a dance, but he politely declined, barely affording a nervous glance toward his father as he exited the hall.

Upon exiting, Merlin was no where in sight. Another servant in the Camelot livery passed by. “Excuse me, have you seen Mer-my manservant anywhere?” The servant did not seem in any way suspicious of his question. “I just saw him going up that staircase, my lord.” She said with a small bow. Arthur nodded in thanks and headed down the hall. He reached the stairs and climbed them quickly.

It opened up on the balcony overlooking the main courtyard. The cold air swept by him, fluttering his cape and prickling his arms. Bits of snow drifted downward beginning to blanket the castle.

Merlin stood at the edge of the balcony watching the guests leave, boots leaving prints in the snow by the gate. Snowflakes had already made their way on him, contrasting sharply with his dark hair. He didn’t seem focused on the snow however; his face was vacant yet almost sad as he looked beyond the castle into the nighttime abyss. Merlin seemed to sense his presence and his air shifted abruptly to one of joy.

“Fancy seeing you here. Following me again, are you?” he asked with a mischievous grin.

“Well, a prince must keep his eye on certain unruly servants.” Arthur answered moving closer.

“An such a close eye that is.” Merlin kept his eyes on Arthur’s, lessening the distance between them with a small grin. They were now inches apart. Arthur hesitated, stepping back with nervous glance around the area. He looked past Merlin and his eyes fell on the nobles below. Many were leaving, wrapped in each other’s arms as protection from the cold. He imagined doing that with Merlin and looking at the other man’s face, he could tell he was thinking the same thing.

“I wish things would change.” Arthur murmured. It was unnecessary to say any more. They had talked of it many times before, weighing possible solutions, wondering what Arthur could convince Uther of, but it was all futile.

They both knew there was only one thing that could be done.

“Don’t worry, when you are king… everything will.” He said it with such certainty. “It will be a new era for Camelot, one of peace, freedom, and love.” Merlin said with a meaningful look at Arthur.

“And I believe in you to make that world a reality.” Merlin grabbed Arthur’s hand, squeezing it tight. He said these words to make them true.

He leaned into Arthur’s warmth. It still filled him with joy to be able to do this. He didn’t even have to try hard to suppress the fear of their discovery. It was an impossible dream, come to life.

The cold air wrapped around them as the moon rose higher. Merlin shivered in his thin coat and Arthur looked ready to offer his own but said nothing. The sky had grown thick with white clouds, blanketing the land.

Merlin felt the snow before it began. It sent a tingling sensation through his body, like something was about to happen. He could always feel the first snow with his magic and this time was no different. His connection to the Earth was clear.

Soft flakes began to fall from the expanse of clouds. They fluttered downward, brushing the grand towers of the castle. The last few guests in the courtyard hurried away, seeking shelter.

Merlin smiled. It was lovely. The snowflakes caught the light from the torches beside them, and they shined in the darkness. Merlin held his hands out, over the edge of the balcony. Snow touched his palms. He cupped his hands, gathering more, before closing them. He held his hands together, the little bit of sow he had collected inside. His eyes glowed in the darkness. He shut them tightly in concentration.

“What are you doing?” Arthur asked, almost concerned. Merlin opened his eyes.

“You’ll see, you prat.” Merlin answered with annoyance. He continued, before pulling his hands back and opening them. Inside, lay a perfectly formed heart. It was a bright white and made of more snow than Merlin had clearly had. Merlin smiled at Arthur, offering it to him.

“You’re such a girl, Merlin.” Arthur teased as he looked at Merlin’s creation.

“Ah yes, a prince should never show such soft emotions, he must be cold-hearted and cruel,” Merlin announced, before pausing and motioning to throw the cold heart at Arthur, who looked offended at the very idea. Instead, he dropped his hand and moved closer, whispering. “And you know you like it anyways.” He finished. Arthur gave him a look at that but made no comment as he let Merlin set it gently in his own hands. Despite being made of snow, it was somehow warm.

“How?” Arthur instinctively asked before immediately correcting himself, “Never mind, I know- “

“Magic.” Merlin replied cheekily. Arthur rolled his eyes. Arthur held onto it for a few moments, admiring it and running his hands along its soft edges. Merlin could see he really did like it.

“There’s still something more it can do.” Merlin took Arthur’s hands still holding the heart. He cupped his hands around his and suddenly flung the gift upward and it soared through the air. Arthur was about to say something about him being clumsy when it burst in the sky, forming a heart and becoming snowflakes once again. They smiled up at the display. Arthur was always in awe of how beautiful magic could be. All these years he’d been taught of its evils when that was only one part of it. Magic could be so much more.

Merlin watched Arthur’s loving gaze and felt at peace for the first time that night. Being open with Arthur about his magic was such an amazing feeling. He never thought he could love the man beside him anymore than he already did but he sometimes surprised himself. Merlin felt giddy with joy and all he wanted to do was kiss him, of course they couldn’t do that here.

Merlin took Arthur’s arm and pulled him away from the balcony before tugging him into an alcove along the wall and pulling him into a kiss. A kiss filled with warmth despite cold lips and hands. They were wrapped up in their own world, then Arthur pulled away, breathless.

“We can’t, not here.” He said, avoiding to mention that he had participated just as eagerly as Merlin.

“Then let’s go back to your chambers, sire.” He retorted, already halfway down the corridor. Arthur followed.

They arrived at Arthur’s chambers, almost dashing inside for another private moment. Each return to the room was a joyous occasion. It was their sanctuary; they had no need to hide. Arthur pulled Merlin into his arms now, kissing him deeply, hands on the other man’s waist. When they broke apart Merin let out a happy sigh, before noticing the chill and going to the fireplace. He lit the fire, eyes as bright as the flames.

Arthur watched once again, smiling. Then he had an idea.

“Merlin, would you like to dance?”

“Who’s the soft one now?” he taunted at Arthur’s dismayed face, then said. “You know I do.”

He moved toward Arthur who gave a low, formal, bow and Merlin curtsied before bowing, chuckling. Arthur simply shook his head.

He placed one hand on Merlin’s waist and the other in his hand and Merlin filled the other position with a hand on Arthur’s shoulder.

“Dancing with everyone else tonight, I wanted to get a chance to dance with you.”

“Me too.” Merlin said.

Arthur began to lead Merlin around the room. The man in question was surprisingly graceful yet still managed to trip over Arthur’s foot, and he couldn’t help but laugh. They continued like that in a slow waltz. However, as the sky grew darker, they moved faster and faster, spinning around the room. Arthur felt free, unlike the uptight, formal dancing of earlier that evening. They danced into the night, the closeness of their bodies keeping them warm.

Later, Arthur beckoned Merlin into bed, after Merlin dressed him. He borrowed one of Arthur’s shirts and a pair of trousers so he wouldn’t have to go back to his chambers or keep his cold coat on any longer. Though it would have been better without any, it was much too cold for that. Merlin climbed in, next to his prince, and pulled up the covers.

He settled next to Arthur and pressed a lazy kiss to his cheek. He wrapped his arms around Merlin in return, feeding off their joined heat.

“Merlin, I do mean it.” Arthur paused, thinking things over. “One day, Camelot will welcome a new age. And more importantly, you will be free, and we will, together. The Prince and the Warlock, ruling side-by-side. I promise.”

Merlin’s eyes teared up. He could never get used to Arthur saying something like that, like destiny was true after all.

“Thank you.” He said. Arthur wrapped his arms around him in an all-consuming hug. 

“I love you Merlin.”

“And I you.” He said, pulling his prince into a passionate kiss. A kiss sealing the promise made by destiny. They just had to make it through this darkness before the light of Arthur’s rule.

Maybe one could enjoy the dark if there was certainty in the hope of dawn.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This fest has been so much fun
> 
> This was originally just supposed to be fluffy winter cuddles but I ended up throwing some angst in and making it much longer than all my other one shots.
> 
> The title is from the post talking about winter on the kissfest Tumblr.
> 
> Also feel free to comment and give feedback


End file.
